Hello again!

Wow, this is a surprise! Decided to resurrect my old blog and have spent the last while going through all my old posts, reading them and mostly smiling at them and remembering what prompted them.

"What prompted the return?" I hear you all shout as well you might! It is a little bit of a rant I have to admit. Things happen and as I move through life I really do try not to tread too hard on people's toes, knowing that they fight their own battles, have their own priorities. This is, apparently, what we are supposed to do, consider others and accept they may be the way they are because of how they are doing on their journey. This is a good thing. Mostly.

I'm not sure if it's this mindset that has me in trouble, or if it's a case of low self esteem, but I'm sure this doesn't mean that if someone is going through a particularly bad time you are supposed to excuse their behaviours, bite your tongue when they hurt you, or place yourself lower on the ladder of importance because clearly you are not suffering like they are. Yes depression is a desperate problem for, it seems, an awful lot of humans. I've suffered from it myself and am still slowly coming off meds. 

It is easy to become the centre of your own universe with depression. You have enough to deal with your own emotions without worrying about others. So is it right to make those around you feel like they don't matter to you? Is it ok to expect people to just suck it up if you let them down? No actually! No it's not ok. It isn't right and it isn't fair, especially when those people are doing their best to support you. Don't trample on their feelings, you are not more important than them ok? I have the right to my self esteem issues. You do not have the right to hold me in such low esteem that you don't honour commitments or apologise when you can't.

Years ago, when managing a residential home, I regularly had staff members come in to me, ranting about something or other, emotionally distraught as the person they were supporting got ill or was in hospital. I listened, gave support where I could and let them vent. They usually left my office after a coffee and biscuits feeling much better. Of course they did, they left their problems with me. When I buckled under the stress after many years, I actually heard one of the staff say "well i don't know what she's got to be stressed about, she doesn't have to deal with the day to day problems like we do". I learned to deal.

So, come one come all, vent at me, I'll listen and offer comfort/support where I can. Disrespect me and make me feel that you don't actually care about my feelings.. go find someone else to burden.