I have let loose and run with the wind.
I've yelled my defiance to the moon and swam naked in dark pools.
I have laughed until it hurt and endured sorrow until numb.
I have wept at the death of a friend and rejoiced at the birth of a child.
I have known both the light elation and the dark of depression.
I have known emotion.
Somewhere along the way, as I've grown older it's possible I've become wary of strong emotion. I'm convinced life is a series of wheels turning y'see, so if you are low, in the dark trenches, sooner or later it will get lighter, wheels will turn and something will happen to take your emotions to a better place, a place where you can smile, rejoice that things are actually good and thank goodness for that!
It would be easy to say 'Ahhh' (as people do seem to start sentences with this a lot) 'Ahhh, but doesn't that mean that just around the corner is another drop, another plunge into darkness?' Quite possibly, but being aware that this could happen is the first step in the battle to if not stop it completely, at least keeping a measure of control in how deep it goes and how you handle it.
|Sorry, inner child moment|
This, I think, is because the brain is already doing so much but what it also does is tries to predict the future. From looking out the window and deciding that body needs a coat as it might rain, to running scenarios about the next medical appointment, board meeting, the list could go on forever. I don't know many people who have a good night's sleep on a Sunday as brain is busy worrying about getting up in 8 hours time!
Brain needs training to set time aside for right now.
Right now, how are you feeling? Happy? Sad? In pain? Tired? When you're a baby these different states are reflected immediately because brain knows, even at that age, that body can't do anything yet. So baby brain makes sure it's all passed off to the mother's brain. I'm convinced that even once you've given birth and become two separate bodies, the brains still keep in contact for a lot of years after because of this. So baby body fills it's lungs and ohohohsomethingiswrongidon'tknowwhatitisbutfixitnow! is immediately transmitted to the mum's brain which usually then hits all the alarm bells, lights and sirens until there is a happy little 'coo' being emitted by baby body. Babies live very much in the now and because of this, they are happier a lot quicker because things are dealt with on time. It's about time adult brain remembered this and instead of putting off or ignoring signals it deals with it at the time.
How the hell did I go from dancing to babies??? I despair sometimes.
OK. Emotions are transient things. How long they stick around depends on how you deal with it. This is of course very general and easy to type, far easier than actually doing it.
I must start dancing again and sometimes dancing is best done alone, less chance of whacking someone around the head as you wave your arms around. However, if you are good at dodging and ducking, you are welcome to dance with me.