The Tomorrow People

Well! It's been a while since I've been here. Time got a little away from me I think and I've had lots to do, so not much time for reflection. It remains to be seen at the moment what this blog is going to be about but I do want to at least aim for the topic I had planned.

I guess I need to start with a disclaimer. This is the perspective of someone who has very little idea so I really hope I don't offend anyone with my thoughts. It certainly isn't my intent, and I will make a decision about posting this once I've reached the end because it will only be then that I will know if I've made the remotest sense. 

This hasn't stopped you before! I hear you cry. Well no, it hasn't but this is a much more sensitive topic than usual.

Over the years I've managed to create this little bubble of existence. It's a very lonely little bubble but it's safe. I love people so much, but only let them in so far, in fear that if i do open up completely, they will pop that bubble and walk away, as so many have done in the past. If I feel that's about to happen, I run. I don't have the mental strength or shielding to let that happen. It destroys me.

However, I know who I am. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know my sexuality and have never thought of myself as trapped in my own body. I can't say i like my body particularly, but that has been of my own making, along the lines of 'well if I'm fat then no one will fancy me so I won't have to cope with them walking away'. Messed up? For sure.

Enough self obsessed rubbish. I am what I am. Time to try and force this blog in the right direction.

All this was getting around to talking about those people who aren't happy with the body they were born with and have the strength of character to go ahead and change to become what they should have been all along. I can't say I understand it, because how could I? I can never experience it. I can't say to them 'I know how you feel' because of course I don't. What I can do is accept it and that I find easy to do. 

Why is it that people find it so hard to grasp that we are just entities, actors in a play if you like. This skin that we wear is temporary and it's really not surprising that occasionally, it doesn't fit. It's not what we were supposed to wear for this play. My entity is neither male or female. It is both. Even though the body I inhabit for this time is female I have very very strong memories of being male. One of the strongest memories i have of a past life is seducing a woman, slowly, sensually, feeling her body move beneath me and entering her in a wave of passion. Let me tell you, if men feel like I do in that memory, it's no wonder they spend most of their time trying to get laid! I completely understand!

Back from a cold shower and back hopefully on topic.

I could venture an opinion that those who feel that they are in the wrong body, are suffering from past life memories that are too strong to ignore. It's a possibility for sure but no basis in fact and very probably a gross over simplification of it all, but I do tend to do that because often, the most complicated of problems have the simplest of answers. 

What it all boils down to though is that person needs to change themselves into what they want to be. The strength it must take to step down that path, not knowing if loved ones are going to be supportive, faced with a million and one unknowns. Wow. That has me in awe. What a steep hill they have to climb armed with only a deep conviction that they need to do it. So much more can be done to support this decision. 

If you love someone, you might quite like the outer appearance, but you don't love it. Much like a favourite book, you don't say 'This is my most favourite book' because of the cover but because of what's inside. If two people love each other and then one day some horrible totally made up affliction comes along and they turn into green blobs.. they will still love each other even while they are saying 'eww... you're green!' 

Isn't it enough that two (or three, or more) people love each other? It certainly is for me.

I've known quite a few trans people over the years and in getting to know them, without fail, every single one of them has presented mentally to me as the gender they need to be. Even if they didn't though, I respect the hell out of their right to do what they feel is right. 

A thought to finish this. If it is indeed true that the most homophobic people around are the ones fighting their own insecurities about their sexuality, is it possible that the most transphobic are doing the same about their genders?